There….not quite there yet? Middle aged crisis.

How many kilometers to Happiland? Long have I trodden on the path to success. Ups and downs, storms, sunny days, storms, storms and more storms. Can’t I just hitch hike my way to happiness? It’s long overdue…. the life of a middle aged woman *sigh* oh… the life of a middle aged woman. I don’t think we’re ever going to arrive at that destination, let all alone stay there for a while.

Picture created from Canva app.

Take marriage for instance, dream wedding, perfect gown, all bliss. Happily ever after vibes. 3 years down the line boom! ‘Mr you’re My one and only’ has gone all chameleon in true colours. ‘Aargh’… At which point do you begin to identify hapiness anyway? ;is it when there’s no more disappointments on the part of the partner or when the childhood dream checklist is fully ticked off despite the disappointment?
*sigh* oh middle aged woman. eye straight in the eyes like those Beijing bicycles like ‘well ride me we’ve got 30 to 40 more years to go.

Pushing hard to make it work such early stage. You cannot even think 30-40 years still to go. Life goals seems to have been thrown out the window by the strongest wind of autumn. The memories of honeymoon stage sounds like a distanced memory. The vows you made at the altar looks like a mirage of words. Your matrimonial bed seems to sink like an empty boat in the sea.

Perhaps we are to visit the career goals that we previously set. Oh that is going well except…we’ve been merely stuck at point internship after internship. That’s just for the lucky few that even managed to nab those jobs, any jobs mind you, not those that which you didn’t know of nor that which you sent to varsity for. In the hope that better career prospects would be achieved. Looking around we are those that never even bothered submitting assignments twinning event way happily and frantically to the top. And you may be there as Virgin Mary stuck in a maze of career.

I’m still waiting the friday off hiding diary of a billionaire first of this diary of that pages are filling up days after money and time are emptying. Ohhh

Life happened. Hardships of life kept knocking on the forehead. Promotions. Internships after internships not permanent, unless you willing to twerk your way to the top.
Wild solutions ideas – crossed your mind.
Weed to cope,temptation for your man to find you high so you can lay it as it.

Oh and what of those annoying TV
commercials of air brushed models so perfect and so fake..*eye roll* and you look at your make up kit and it seems as though you’re yet to use them.

There was a time where you did once look like that isn’t there? Where you had a figure like that of a model. But now everything junk you want, no diet plans whatsoever. Everything else looks vague. The odometer gauges by the number of wrinkles betrays as you start concealing your age more and more often.

Time for a night out with the ladies. Party-lit-life, its about to go down till you get that text from mommy. All you think about is booze, booze booze,”Keep em coming”, you shout on the counter.

Night after.
You wake up to a flurry of text notifications as you’re about to respond with a smurk thinking it’s one of your girlfriends…’girl it was lit’ the text goes straight to your bank number.
What’s with these smartphones.

‘Capitec: Debut order -R2500 from SAVINGS ACCOUNT Ref GreyInns Pub, avail R4500’

‘ Capitec: Debut order -R1500 from SAVINGS ACCOUNT Ref GreyInns Pub, avail R3000’

Time to buy diapers for the Baby and then join the Hobbo club or head for the shelter

Sindi: Hey sis, I’m in a crisis..I dont have food at all at Res wont you send me atleast R400
Avail bal R2584.12

Sister Please dont forget R1500 for my accommodation and food
Avail bal R1054.13

No more
Mom: Ntombi dont forget that R450 for Society neh, Ntombi and Julia have been on my neck since last week Avail bal R604.13

Your head still spinning from hangover you realize that you used up all your savings and little money left in your account.
At this point and time you are under a lot of frustration. You beat yourself up from making wrong decisions and it took a toll on you.

Or perhaps you aren’t anxious about debut orders but you wish if only you can have a bit of a salary due to unemployment. You’ve knocked every door possible but still no luck. There’s nothing depressing as of not having any income yet your peers are working and nothing seems to be working out in your life.

You see sometimes we live unsatisfactory lives because we compare ourselves to other people. They seem to be doing good in their lives yet we have no idea what they are going through. How about you begin to take a driver’s seat of your life and change the outcomes? I think it’s time to embrace that pot belly and that bank balance. If you not happy with them, then go to the gym or try to earn multiple incomes to increase your bank balance. The ball is in your cords. Rinse your own race and do not compare yourself with other people.
It’s absolutely okay to not have everything else figured out. You can pull through life and what I know for sure is there’s light at the end of every tunnel.

The race is not to the swiftest nor the battle to the strong. Be strong and know that the first shall be last. It shall be well with your soul.

Tax collectors and prostitutes shall enter the kingdom of God first – you are likely not any one of them. Are you beyond forgiveness? Not at all…..

Do check out some of my inspirational posts which I’ve written lately :

From my heart to yours

36 thoughts on “There….not quite there yet? Middle aged crisis.

  1. Absolutely
    Life is a bit complicated for middle aged youth. We just trying to figure out a lot kn our own and its indeed a rollercoaster of emotions.
    A lot is to be said and done but we are given a chance to work on our goals and do better

    Liked by 2 people

  2. πŸ’œ Totally Agreed EveryOne; for Me I Turned Around, Returned to The Purity of My ChildLike State and Remembered and Realised that “happiness” was Tapping Me on The Shoulder ALL The Linear Time as I Ignored “HAPPYNESS” by Looking to a Horizon…an Horizon that just became another Horizon; so I Hope this Diatribe HELPS!!! YOU!!! ALL


    Liked by 1 person

  3. Absolutely
    We navigate through life looking for something which we already have and it lives within us. I believe pure joy is found within ourselves and we just have to dig deeper to find it.

    Thank you for your insightful comment

    Liked by 1 person

  4. πŸ’œ Thank YOU!!! for YOUR!!! Kind Words and YOU!!! ARE Most Welcome; it’s a Pleasure to Share and Serve, Stay Strong and Serene, gave Me Much Comfort OutSide of My Comfort Zone


    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh goodness i became so nervous and uptight reading through this post. All these laws about success, happiness, a real great sex and an eternally happy married life can send many people into a panic mode. And as the decades roll in we realise we loss the moments and forgot how to really enjoy life.
    You looking good, beautiful, strong and healthy for a middle age woman. Enjoy. Like you say pure joy resides inside of you

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Absolutely
    Its a crisis most of us face which makes life even more difficult especially on the times we live in. Social media being the driving force we COMPARE ourselves to other people and envy their lives. Putting ourselves under unnecessary pressure.

    I’m turning 26 in September and am afraid there’s a lot of things which needs to ge achieved which I should by now have achieved.

    I refuse to put myself under unnecessary pressure. I own my life and I live in my own pace.

    Thank you so much for reading sissy
    Love you

    Liked by 1 person


    🧑 1. Soulful Experience is ALL there is; Suffering, Hurting and Healing Included
    🧑 2. Other Folk ARE Bearable to some Degree; so Spend Time Alone, but most Definitely NOT!!! Lonely, to SEE (Soulful Emotional Energy) if YOU!!! Really Do ‘Miss’ Them Other FUCKING IDIOTS!!!
    🧑 3. Enjoy and Endure 3DLiving; that’s Our 3DEnvironment; a Return to Bliss via Death by Any Means is ALWAYS!!! an Option for Us ALL

    …any questions πŸ€” ? yup, I THOUGHT NOT!!!…

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🀭🀫🀐


    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh from the title i thought you speaking about yourself, hence matched the photo to you my love, so sorry about that. No you shouldn’t get locked into these thoughts of midlife crisis it can really hold you back. Social media is a flashy and glamorous world it can trap you and in this trap you run away from yourself. Refer back to this post when you reach forty or fifty, these are great expressions to self.
    Who told you what you needed to achieve by now. There are many road maps. Follow the one that warms your and sets you alight.
    NB: I’m not saying you shouldn’t follow the glamour girls just always check on yourself.
    Love you too babes.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is soo encouraging
    I really appreciate this. It’s a scary world we live in and everyday we fight battles which has got nothing to do with us.
    I will try by all means to stay in my lane and do what makes me happy. There’s a lot to be grateful for.

    Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

    The picture I created it from canva
    It wasn’t me

    Liked by 1 person

  10. “The race is not to the swiftest nor the battle to the strong. Be strong and know that the first shall be last. It shall be well with your soul.” Wow, love this line. This is a source of inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. A brave, philisofical, and somewhat cutting view into the life of a middle-aged being, which is a title of inexact designation. Thanks for this post mate !

    Liked by 1 person

  12. My pleasure mate
    I found it necessary to tackle some of the issues we face as individuals and its maily caused by comparing ourselves with other fellows and social media also has contributed in the rise of anxiety and depression because people think they are behind with life as opposed to their peers

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Really like the lesson behind this post. I think we are all on our own journeys and moving at our own pace- when we compare ourselves to others we are comparing our journey to theirs except that we are on two different journeys.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. It’s very hard to navigate through life If we conparebourselves to other people
    We should constantly remind ourselves that we are worth it and life it’s a journey to be travelled in our own pace. No need to compare ourselves to other people

    I’ve also noticed how social media has created a mirage of lifestyles which looks authentic yet fake and void..and we begin to rate ourselves with that.
    It’s too sad

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I totally agree- you only see what people want you to see on social media. You only see the best part of their life and we often compare the worst part of our life with the best part of others which is completely ridiculous.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I wish I could have twerked my way to the top! πŸ˜‚…I spent my twenties trying to climb up the career ladder then had kids and now I love being a stay at home mom and now my oldest starts high school in the next few months. hIts much easier to stop the comparison..we have different purposes in life and running our own race makes life a bit more joyful ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Hahahaha no way..its not worth it!
    You turned out well even when you had kids you still worked hard in your career. I applaud you for that😘😘😘
    And am sure you’ve raised them well to be responsible individuals.

    We absolutely have different purposes in life and we should embrace our uniqueness.

    Still in the UK? How’s the situation in terms of covid? Still locked down??

    Liked by 1 person

  18. We’re opening up here in the UK thankfully! Last stage of opening up is tomorrow where we can eat inside restuarents. The last few weeks we’ve only been allowed to eat outside cafΓ©s. We may be allowed to stop wearing masks by 21st June.

    Liked by 1 person

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